A New Decade - Part 2

[Sanderika]

Hi MsM....

I am so happy for you one of your goals has been met. It helps to keep you going forward when something works. You realize you are doing it right.

IMO your XH didn't want you to jump to any conclusions as to why he was attending the b-day party. He felt it was very important that you understood he felt it was an obligation to attend for her. Perhaps her condition is worsening and he attended simply out of respect for his boss and family.

I think it is a good sign that he wants to reassure you that he is not out socializing. It's a good sign he wanted to spend his day off with you. It's a good sign he's enjoying Sundays with you. It's a good sign you are hugging and kissing.

Sometimes the company is perfect even though there isn't a lot of conversing. Sometimes it feels just right to just be with someone in comfort while enjoying the companionship. With time as you two become more comfortable together the conversing will come. It's all about the baby steps. Keep the PMA and it will rub off on H too. I wonder if his self-esteem has been damaged in the process and it will take time for him to regain his ability to open up and release his inhibitions. He already feels safe with you because of the way you treat him.

I wouldn't worry too much about the miscommunication about the oil and it might be something you thought had more impact than XH thought it did. It might be that XH didn't even notice that your comment was telling him what to do. With your continued analyzing of the comment XH now realizes what you were doing. A safe approach for the next time is to simply leave XH to take care of matters himself and not say anything, let him handle it and MsM goes about her own business and does something different leaving XH to finish up. No Communication fits some situations perfectly. XH didn't stand up for himself because he didn't even notice MsM was telling him what to do. He might have simply thought you were trying to be helpful.

I am happy your afternoon and evening went very well.

It's baby steps in the right direction and that feels really good right now. Keep doing what you are doing, it's working.

(((((Hugs, my friend)))))

Sanderika