You know what Doodles? I think it's time for the big guns. I'm not a professional, all I have is the fact I'm living through this crap too, BUT things really started to change for me when I was ready to walk away. I hated the idea, still do, but I was pissed. I had had enough of H thinking I was not the prize. I finally got to a point where I knew, I am soooooo much better than her.
Then, my mother gave me the best advice/explaination: If you knew for fact he was coming home, sooner than later, how would you act? What would you do? You would go live your life and even laugh at his stupid antics. You'd be fine.
And she's right.
So my advice to my mdoodles, time to show him who's really in charge. You.
I think at this point, he doesn't see you as the lighthouse, the place to turn to when he's stressed or upset. I think he sees you as the doormat he can still wipe his feet on.
Why not show him, you are the prize?
But if you aren't ready.....I completely understand. I wasn't ready in December, January or February or March. Sort of got there in April, back off in May but got there in June, in a big way. That's when my mother and I had our big talk.
