SD...in reality.....this place looks like it's a snap to save your M when...in actuality..it isn't. It takes tremendous work and committment on BOTH parts to do so. Ya know what....sometimes....it doesn't work. IMO...after all this time here...the really TOUGH thing to learn and do...is to know the difference: what is worth fighting for? when do you realize the cause is lost? when should you keep going? are you in this for religious beliefs and standing 'forever'? Is the M happy and fulfilling or is it codependent? Are you holding on out of fear?

Once trust is broken..it's like your favorite coffee mug with the handle broken off. You glue it, but worry if the hot cup will plummet into your lap. No matter how hard you work and try...the doubt....never goes away.

I worked so hard here.....like you..and others....to save my M. I did the reading. I held back the anger and avoided the fights. Walked the Green Mile. I've gone to 'standers' dinners with 10 men sitting around a table...some still standing while their wives were either remarried or in flagrante delicto with another man as we dined. What is right: staying for the sake of staying when all has failed...or realizing that two people are just not able to support a healthy M anymore?

SD...this is not a 'you should D' post. Rob would shoot this to pieces...or will....when/if he sees it.

The answer still comes down to you SD. It still comes down to a long walk at the beach....a lot of introspection....and, since you still have the ability to do so, a lot of ? communication with H?

Do you have kids? Doesn't say so in your sig. Do you need an ear?

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;