Mainly because I feel that I did not really do anything wrong (I am aware of the things that I did do) , but I am still blamed by WAW for causing things that I did not cause
In "her eyes" right now, she feels that you did cause some problems. The first time my H and I tried to talk after the bomb hit, he made the statement he had never done anything wrong. I think he was really talking about being unfaithful, but at the time, I took it the wrong way and man did it hit me wrong. I closed up my heart even more and I stopped any talks with him b/c of that statement. All I wanted to hear from him was that he accepted his part of the breakdown in the M. He came across as being "Mr. Clean" and I was the scrum woman. I saw him as being self-righteous and it turned me off and make me furious. Of course, my heart was not in the right place.
I only tell you this so you can keep it in the back of your mind if you and W have a similar conversation. No, you have not been unfaithful and you've been home taking care of the kids while she's out with OM. That is horrible for a W/mother to do! But be careful, for the sake of the M....not to appear to her that you are Mr. Self-righteous. Know what I mean? She is very guilty and very defensive, so she will fire back at you if you aren't careful about your choice of words.
Later, Sandi
P.S. Yes, you can gauge her up & down emotions based on what's happening with her and OM.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
