I`m really impressed at how your H rowed in with this too! Yeah, course he should-he`s her Dad-but with the fog they`re going through there`s no guarantee they`ll switch on to the kids.
My H swears he`s not emotionally attached to anyone. Including his kids! Scary!
I don`t believe it mostly but there`s a little bit of me wondering where he`d be in a similar sitch to you and your H with your DD.
wow, missed a lot, but love that you had great fun watching the 22 year olds butt! lol and nice of you to get H a laptop...
I'll keep reading
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
wow, you've got a lot on your hands with d18. I'm really sorry for all the worry and struggles your going thru, but it sounds like you and H are handling it well and perhaps this will help build your M in the process.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Wow MB! That was a lot to read! Also haven't been here in about 10 days, which doesn't help, but I got a glass of wine to drink while reading!
I think it's GREAT that your H supported you in this way, handling D18, working as a parent team. It could have easily been a lot more awkward with him (partially) supporting her, undermining your authority and spinning everything WAYYY out of control! Working as a team should also help you two bond in that way. That's good to hear! Also glad to hear you and your friends are having fun at a 22 yr old boys' expense!
Keep the course MB! You're bound to hit land sooner or later!
DMK - Ha! Glad you paid for your own. Sucks to be busted w/the tattoo parlors name on your mom's cc bill!
Ahhhh the lightbulb moment. What a glorious day that will be!!!
She's been SO busy attending three proms, 22 grad parties, being on prom court, etc., etc., etc... No time to do something like WORK and GET GOOD GRADES! Gotta love 'em! Is this why God made her so cute? So, I wouldn't thump her!?
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
H's always been a great dad. We married when D18 was four, and she's known him since she was two. It's not always been smiles and grins, just okay, until high school and they became quite tight. It makes me smile to think of how they interact. I'm appreciative to him for her.
My H is a bit crazy. I wouldn't be shocked if he came home w/a tattoo, as well!
Keep on keepin' on!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
She's going to be the reason I have a drinking problem! LOL (j/k)
The boys are SO easy. All's they want is someone to pull them on a wakeboard, someone to drive them to soccer, and un-ending food! Oh, and S12 needs unlimited txting. That's all!
Interesting... H's work schedule away from home keeps shortening. He leaves later and later for the "work week." I think this is good!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
D18 is doing what she SHOULD be doing! Amen! Halleluliah!!!
H called this afternoon... checking on "the situation," and told me he had been thinking about it, and we absolutely did the right thing, together...
Weird. Adding the together, like we don't handle these things together otherwise, but OKAY! I'll take that.
NOW back to our regularly scheduled programming, where were those GOALS again?
#1 - To attract some kind of interest from H.
WHAT TO DO DIFFERENT - Limit my initiation of contact w/H (while he is away working during the week) to required contact re: children.
OK, I HAVE done this... Didn't initiate convo w/H today, and he called me, checking in on D18, wanting to know what's going on, etc... I'm NOT going to initiate convo when he's gone.
#2 - To enjoy a non-kid event together.
WHAT TO DO DIFFERENT - Make sure I don't have any kind of "meltdowns" in his presence anymore. Smile. Enjoy. Be someone H wants to be around, w/ and w/out kids.
My BFF and her H may invite us to dinner this weekend at H's NEW favorite restaurant on Sat night. Hope this happens!!!
#3 - To have a physical presence I'm proud of.
WHAT TO DO DIFFERENT - STOP relaxing the weight loss/exercise efforts!
I have SUCKED at this one. Diet, exercise has not been good (I did walk three miles in weights today, though!), but, hey my haircut is cuteQ!
#4 - To allow my H to LEAD, and not PUSH from my end.
WHAT TO DO DIFFERENT - Let H make decisions. Ask him for advice. If I sense he's not comfortable w/something we're doing/deciding on, step back and allow him to have a voice.
I've done a lot of this lately. I would give myself a solid B, if graded!!! (I notice letting him lead in this D18 situation has made him come to me for approval on what he's done now. That can't be that good, but I'm giving him positive and encouraging feedback.)
Last edited by mindblank; 07/15/0903:28 AM.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Well, MB, that sounds great to me! H is trying to get used to different MB, the one that lets him lead. Make sure you let him know you're on the same page there!
