Yay!!!!! Finally a new thread.

[AlexEN]

A&K,

Might be worth getting the book. Even if he isn't NP and is just BP, a lot of the same things apply...

And, oversimplifying, since the dynamics of your dance with H has many layers, this language hit home for me: "and intense blaming of the Non-BP or Non-NP spouse..."

It's hard not to accept that blame when it comes at you relentlessly; the NP/BP so firmly believes what they are saying that it is VERY convincing [that isn't to say that we on the other hand are blameless, but our $hit is magnified under this microscope] and thus more "credible" especially if the non-BP or non-NP spouse has issues with self-confidence, co-dependence or enmeshment.

You've been following Serenity's thread, from the outside looking in, and this probably isn't totally fair, it seems that you are being as unduly harsh on yourself as is she. Acknowledge your reasonable portion of the responsibility for your sitch being what it is, but don't accept all of the "blame"...

Why do I end up on your thread when it's late and I know what I'm trying to say, but can't quite get the words the way I want them...

-AlexEN