Changing Man

[Gardener]

Called my wife who's visiting midwest daughter today. Had to tell her about final document she had to fax for refi closing Thursday. She sounded very happy, I gave her the info/fax number and said "kiss daughter and belly (pregnant) for me and have a good time," and got off. 35 seconds. I didn't want to talk. Nothing to talk about.

Still think her giving me her apt. key for first time in 8 months and asking me to water/feed our cat daily was a positive. As was her sudden reasoning that S & DIL, who usually do cat duty, are "busy/not available/not as good," etc. I walk, feed, water, kitty litter and play with cat (my buddy). Go in no other room (boundaries), look at nothing, snoop not at all (I believer there is NO OM).

I'm expecting something when she gets back what with 5 day break, time with beloved daughter, time (and 30 hrs driving) with her sister (whom I adore and vice versa).

One thing I do expect is my wife bringing up subject mediator again either when she gets back or next week (when the agreed upon one-month delay is up).
I plan on telling her:

Yes, I've given it some thought. Recall how I would always tell the kids growing up that they are the only ones that get to live John Doe Gardener's life and even they get only one shot at it? Well I acknowledge that you are the only person who gets to be Jane Doe Maiden-Name. I care about you and I will not stand in your way.

But I have decided that I will not go to a mediator. I'm sure you can acknowledge that I think this divorce is wrong. So while I have decided I will not stand in your way, I've also decided that I will not do anything to facilitate something I feel is so very wrong. Do what's in your heart. I won't resist, but you should know that I won't assist you, either.

Thoughts, gang. I gotta have this script finalized and at the ready.
Thanks.