K4D Rising #3

[aliveandkicking]

Maybe trying to stop the thoughts doesn't always work. This is a fascinating article on a different approach-

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1156613,00.html

[K4D]

Thanks FaithfulH,

You are right. I reread the article. I guess I lose sight of things sometimes. I lose sight of my goals sometimes and how to obtain them.

I am back on it though.

Kevin

[K4D]

Ok,

So my sister had her 7th baby tonite. Its a baby girl. My sister got to the hospital at 5:45 and the baby was born at 5:52 while my sister was in the restroom. Talk about a quick delivery. Her doctor arrived 15 minutes later. She and the baby are doing good. So that makes 4 girls and 3 boys for them. Wow. They all live in Charlotte NC.

So today is cause for thanking the Lord for another addition to the family. My daughters were very excited about their new cousin. They asked when we were going to go visit. I said I don't know at this point. But we will eventually.

I didn't tell W about it. She doesn't want to know what is going on in my life. So I just told my daughters.

There is a lot to be thankful for today.

Kevin

[25yearsmlc]

Ok,

So my sister had her 7th baby tonite. Its a baby girl. My sister got to the hospital at 5:45 and the baby was born at 5:52 while my sister was in the restroom. Talk about a quick delivery. Her doctor arrived 15 minutes later. She and the baby are doing good. So that makes 4 girls and 3 boys for them. Wow. They all live in Charlotte NC.

So today is cause for thanking the Lord for another addition to the family. My daughters were very excited about their new cousin. They asked when we were going to go visit. I said I don't know at this point. But we will eventually.

I didn't tell W about it. She doesn't want to know what is going on in my life. So I just told my daughters.

There is a lot to be thankful for today.

Kevin

Yes there is. (SO Who cares whether your w knows? )

Keep on doing what you are doing. Yes you do backslide and maybe it's more than some others do. But you are also making progress. So keep it up and don't berate yourself so much and maybe, just maybe you don't have to apologize to your wife for much anymore. WE can tell you that the church question was controlling/hypocritical, but you don't have to point out your every mistake and flaw to your w (that's HER JOB!! --kidding)

just carry on and she'll eventually notice the new confident Kevin, when we do.

Or maybe a little later. But she will notice but that is NOT why you'll be doing it, is it? Of course not. GLAD you read the detachment piece. Keep reading it til it's second nature if you have to.

You will make it Kevin, I think. That's a big step for ME to think. (See Pup, I give high fives to him!!)

Seriously, more or less -forward and backward--you are getting thru this...

(( j ))

[K4D]

Thanks 25,

That means a lot coming from you. I am trying to make it. I definitely need less back sliding. I'm working on it.

Kevin

[25yearsmlc]

Kev
that's it in a nutshell.

When you make progress, hold onto it. No backsliding. The Marines are saying that right now in Afghanistan--,
"Where we have not yet made progress/inroads, we will push in and take hold, and then we will not yield, and where we take back that which had been lost, we will hold it, and never yield it back."

Do that.

J-

[K4D]

What a morning,

D7 put up a huge fight this morning about getting up and then having to go to the rec center. Plus she is going on a field trip today and needed money to play video games. I had to stop and get her a bottle of water for her lunch. The store didn't let me pull out cash. Then I had to get them to the rec center and go in a pay the 2 week bill. Needless to say I was late getting to work this morning because she was fighting with me and D11. She later apologized to D11 in the car.

D11 was telling me last night that she hates her life because she is having trouble making friends at the rec center. I guess the other kids think they are cool according to her and she only has one friend that hangs with her. So we talked a little bit about that and I tried to give her suggestions on how she can have a better time there. Apparently kids try and draw her into sides and argue with her. I told her to tell them to leave her out of it and if they continue, just ignore them. Eventually they will walk away if you don't react.

D11 is getting to go to a friends pool party this afternoon so that made her happy. Its a friend from church. She was able to tell me some other things as well. She knows that she can come to me about anything and thats good. That will be really important the older she gets.

I have been looking over the website rejoiceministries.org and have decided I will be a stander for my M no matter what and no matter how long it takes. If I keep working on myself and praying for my marriage to be restored, God will make it happen with time. It will be in his time, not mine. But I know it will happen.

The alarming thing to me was that when you look at the success stories they have posted, its about 90% husbands returning and 10% wives returning from doing a general scan of what is posted in the success section. That didn't exactly build my confidence. But I know through God any thing is possible and if you are faithful and allow him to change you and you don't stray, he will fix things.

Tonite my kids are with their mom and then I get them back tomorrow night until Sunday night. I'm not sure what I am going to do tonite, but I know it will include praying and reading. I know that God has to complete changing me before he can start working on W and bringing her back into the equation.

Kevin

[K4D]

I have to see W tonight. I have to pick up D11 from her pool party and take her to W's house. I didn't shave today either. Oh well. I will put my best foot forward anyways for the brief moment I will see her.

Kevin

[PMA_Baby!]

Good. She will see that you're no longer trying to impress her.

Focus on YOU not HER.

[K4D]

I guess it would show that. I dread seeing her as it is always hard immediately after. All those feelings come back to me as soon as we part ways even if it was brief.

I love her. Maybe I will go out to dinner after.

Kevin