I would just say that the more "off the deep end" she seems to get--the more the red flags are flying. If you feel that she is showing signs of being in a disillusional state of mind, then you need to try to protect her from herself. You need professional advice in how to do that. But first, make sure she is in that frame of mind and needs intervention of some sort. I say that b/c as cold as it may sound.....all LBH's think their WAW has about lost their minds. It can become a very serious matter. I think my family was very concerned about me b/c I was nothing like my usual self.

When you told of how hateful the OM was to her--but yet she continued this "fantasy" about their "love"......it is something (I think) that may merit some type of intervention. I simply don't know. You may have to be the final one to make that call if you do not have support. Is there any relatives or friends that support your feelings about this?

I think there may be at least two options here.....either her going to meet OM and getting "shocked" into reality of what he truly is and feels about her......or have some type of health intervention. I have never suggested that on the DB board where a WAW is concerned (at least I don't remember doing it) but I am concerned about this abusive situation from OM. Even if she went to see OM, she could be placing herself in harm's way. You just never know what somebody else may do. I realize that is thinking in the "extreme scenario". I also wonder if it would do further damage to her mental state if OM was nasty to her. After you spoke to your friend, it has me more concerned than ever. I don't know how you would stop her if she decides she is going. That is what I was thinking the last time I talked about her going to meet OM. Did your friend offer any suggestions?

If you can get more professional advice, that is the route to go. All I can do is try to tell you from my POV, but I'm not a professional and would hate for something really bad to happen to her--(more than already has)--mentally or physically.

I have talked to several LBH's about the hormone problems with women and I know from experience that it has a huge, huge affect on females when the hormone factor is not balanced and working properly. That's why it can seem as if they are going off their rocker! Who could you turn to or ask for help? Could this friend you spoke to give you more details about how or what to do? Where do you stand with her parents and do they have any idea what's going on? (Sorry if you've told me.....I forget.) I feel like I'm grasping at straws, so I can only imagine what you must be going through!! What about your family doctor? Could you speak to him/her about your W and see what could be done? The thing here is the "legal" part of forcing somebody against their will. Of course, you know that.....I'm just talking out loud.

Please let me know if you find somebody that knows what steps to take. I don't know if you'd start with a doctor or lawyer in a case like this. But, my thoughts would be to try to discuss her situation with the family doctor or her gynecologist. You can make appointments to talk about a family member....that much I have done! See what the doc said about a woman that won't see her health needs b/c she doesn't think anything is wrong. You know she's not at herself, so I would start with the doctor.

I wish with all my heart I had the right answers for you, but I am here to support you in this trying time. That doesn't seem much to offer......I wish I could do more.

Let me know as soon as you can.

Sandi

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!