I believe that if she were to repent, I am sure that I would be able to accept what has happened, far from happy, but I believe God willl punish her enough for what has gone on. I believe she is already being punished within herself with guilt and hurt. She will recieve plenty of punishment from God, more than I could ever give.
Whoa........
I am thinking you are not in the right mental attitude of forgiving right now. Don't misunderstand me.....I know what you are saying. I agree with what you are saying! However, you are angry and you are wanting to see her punished! You can't do it so you are waiting on God. Don't worry, she'll get what's coming, but I'm not so sure you'll ever see her "repent"......heck, you may not even get an apology. That seems to be something I hear all the LBH's b*tch about. Yeah, I said that. Well, it's the truth. Your male ego is hurt and you want an apology. If she got down and cried and begged for forgiveness, it would even be better.....right? I just think it's odd that the LBW's do not harp on the "apology" thing like the H's do......(JMO).
You would not believe it but it was a long time before I told my H that I was sorry for hurting him. That was all I said. I did not tell him I was sorry for having an EA or anything else. That was it! Now, could you have been able to forgive on that alone? My H could. He never asked me any questions about any of it. Of course, he had read my conversations with OM, but he didn't know "everything".
You may sit yourself up as her judge (and not realize that is what you are doing). I do think you have a right to be very angry.....indeed I do! I am only telling you to be careful or the anger will turn to hate and then it will eat away at the character of who you are as a man. Don't do that to your kids. Think of what the very worst thing she could do and she never ask for your forgiveness. Could you forgive her then? Did you know that we are not to wait until a person "asks" for our forgiveness......before we make the decision and forgive, anyway? Don't wait to see her repent. Make the decision if you can or can't forgive her.....regardless. If you can't....then you need to get a D.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
