GH31 - Dilemma with my pregnant wife

[GH31]

Phoenixdeux,

Thanks for checking in and for not mincing your words.

I'm glad to see you getting out and about, but I can see already, even if you can't, that you will be at the airport and welcoming her with open arms...finally content because OM has kicked your wife to the curb.

I wish she would stay away and not come back and I couldn't care less if she stays with OM. The last few weeks is the first time I've managed to achieve complete indifference. I can't tell you how much better I have felt since she left last week.

I will not be there for her at the airport. No way in the world.

I am so ashamed of myself for not manning up about this whole situation earlier - she somehow managed to keep me in a state of fear so she could manipulate me. How irresponsible could I possibly have been? I was tricked and deceived into thinking all was well earlier this year and we ended up conceiving a child. I would need to be tied up, gagged, sedated and bundled into a van in order to be at the airport. I am really disgusted with myself and furious that it's taken me this long to see it.

We spent almost all of our time together, no wonder my mind was so addled and poisoned. In the last week I have been speaking daily with my mother, father, sister (they live in another country) and friends - there's a whole great life out there that I have been missing.

I should also add that the thought of having sex with her or of even touching her makes my blood run cold.