Something was amiss with your relationship. Medicating yourself on drugs, your wife escaping to another man both reek of a void between the two of you. She did ask for counseling. The odd things is, enablers don't know they enable... but the addict does.
First things first. How did you clean up? What type of lasting support do you have? Is this something that has happened in the past? What are your triggers? What is your motivation to stay clean and sober?
Getting healthy means setting boundaries that keep you on the road to health. What are appropriate ones in your case? If your ability to communicate was flawed during the marriage, it's not going to get better with a threatened divorce without active change, professional help. Work on you. Learn how to express your emotions in a positive way. You are not alone.
Make the changes for yourself. Staying sober will create a drastic difference. An intriguing side note is that many spouses prefer their alcoholic or addicted spouse to remain that way.. something works. The fact that your wife wanted the best for you and your children speaks volumes.
She's hurt and at the end of her rope. In Divorce Remedy getting away from a destructive marriage, i.e. one of physical abuse or drug addiction, is seen as a positive. She left to save herself.
Is the grass greener on the other side for her? Who knows. But you can cultivate your lawn to be as welcoming and refreshing as possible.
You're worth it.
*hugs*
PS.. Have you tried AA? I'm reminded of a saying "Poor me, poor me, pour me a drink." when it comes to pity parties. Accept your responsibility for 50% of the problem, let the rest go and let yourself evolve to the person you're meant to be.
