WAW and 4 kids

[tryingtilDorR]

Puppy - I was going to reply to you on the other thread but I wanted to avoid hijacking.

Your situation sounds very much like mine from what I have read so far. I am wading through to see what happens next in your story!

I am at the stage you were in May 07 I believe, where you knew there was at least an EA. Your W at that time sounds just like mine. They are very fit and look 10 years younger than their current age (mine is now 43). They share the 'need for validation' and low self-opinion traits, as well as being an avoider and not wanting to get too deep into problem areas/issues. The things your W was saying to you is very similar to what I am hearing lately.

The advice I am really focused on that is helpful is how they told you to not focus on the A. Sandi has said as much to me as well. Now, I know things turned worse later on for you so I am going to finish reading through the story to see how you navigated. I am bracing myself to find out that W is in a PA at some point and I think reading your story will help me.

This is great:

I have been stupid, I have been neglectful, but most of all I have figuratively spat upon the gift that God gave me in Susan.

"Here, Paul -- here is my gift for you. Cherish her and protect her."

I've none neither to the level that He would expect, nor have I been a strong leader in setting boundaries and helping her be accountable to her half of it.

Wanna talk about GUILT, try living with THAT.

I feel the same way right now. I am in the middle of my 'just shoot me' months!