It seems as if she is showing disrespect to you with her going out and rubbing herself up against other men and then come home to have her "needs" filled by you. What do you think you could say to her that would make her see that? You would have to have strength to push her affection away. Don't you see that as "cake eating" when you know what she's been doing and then think she can go home and give you a little kiss & hug and it will keep you off her back?

I would tell your W to stay away from OM. She'll want to know why so tell her that he is a liar and he can't be trusted. Then she will want to know why you say that, so you can either be prepared to show her the pictures and have her explain herself or you can tell her you have "your souces" and are not prepared at this time to reveal them, but if she doesn't stay away then you will know......and will be prepared to reveal it to her. At that time, she better be prepared to answer for a lot of things.

You need to decide what you are going to do as a H. Are you going to continue to endure this treatment she's giving you and are you going to continue to put up with her going to the bar scenes and leaving you sit at home? As long as she knows she can get away with giving you a little affection and you'll be satisfied.....then why would she change? You have a lot to think about, but you better know "exactly" what it is you want before you approach her about the OM or about how she's living.

She is still in rebellion to her upbringing in a Pastor's home. I would suspect that she hates the fact that her mother & you get along well. It makes your W feel like an outsider. I am not suggesting you not like your MIL just b/c of that.....but I do suggest you not mention anything about your MIL to your W. Don't say anything about what she mentioned about the OM! Better to leave her parents out of any and all conversations. She will rebel toward you as a way of pulling you into the realm with her parents.

She is immature and has a lot of growing up to do.....and much to learn about life.

Sandi







It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!