Trying to cope with H, IA/EA (was Newbie-1st post)

[mishka422]

Way to go ASH! As long as those are your true feelings about ML then that sounds perfect to me! I didn't mean to put words in your mouth.

You sound good.

[Faith2010]

Okay guys...I am sitting here contemplating the sex issue (Puppy - your "if that's how you truly feel" made me think.)

Honestly, am I 100% sure? No.

BUT...that beloved statement came into my mind. Ya'll know which one I'm talking about...What would God Himself do? My heart and mind truly feel God Himself would not ML to a SP whose emotions belonged to someone else.

Yes, I know I've needed a lot of advice and reassurances on this topic. I just want to make sure I'm not off my rocker on this one. Fear keeps creeping in.

[givingitmyall]

Ash,

What is it you are afraid of?

[Faith2010]

Afraid of pushing him further away

[givingitmyall]

mishka,

Look me up on fb if you want. GivingIt MyAll. Fellow Georgian.

[mishka422]

Done deal GIMA!

[givingitmyall]

Ash,

There is no right or wrong answer here, especially given the personal nature of the decision. The question that seems most relevant to me is what affect will ML with him have on YOU?

I a coming at this with a man's eyes, and I do not profess to understand women completely (if I did I would not be here).

And, what control do you have over his decision to leave/not to leave? None. Don't fear what you cannot control, just prepare for the worst. Make peace with the worst thing that could happen and you will find some very interesting perspective on this whole sitch. One of the posts I read suggested mentally going to the "wrost place" in your sitch and realizing that you will still be ok. Can you do that?

If you can do that (and I know you can), then what do you have to be afraid of? You know the answer...

[Faith2010]

Just spoke with H. H asked why I was ignoring his calls. Told him my phone was in the car. Asked why I didn't respond to his last text (when he asked "are you staying?"). Told him I was not sure what it meant.

H started talking about Friday. I told H I had to leave for my own emotional well being. I told him I am good now, that it helped getting away (made sure my voice and tone were upbeat). H said he was glad to hear me talking like normal. H said he knows it is his fault that I was so upset on Friday. H apologized for everything he put me through. H said he didn't know how I could still want to be married to him. (I answered that one by asking if he wanted to be M, H replied something to the effect of I don't know, I've messed things up). H continued to talk about how Friday was his fault and he did it to me. I told H I didn't really understand what he was getting at. H said "I don't like what I've put you through. I'm mad at myself".

I have no idea if I just spoke with my H or the alien. Now I wonder if OW dumped him cause of the phone call to her work. I think I'll check out our phone bill...

[Faith2010]

Well, it was the alien I was speaking to. Should have known. Tried to check the cell phone account, my effing H changed the password.

Now I'm ticked.

[Faith2010]

I should have known because in that conversation the alien asked me if I told our S not to talk to him. I said no, I would never do that... blah, blah, blah. Man, did I fall for that one or what?