If she hadn't made ANY move back toward her, I wouldn't send the flowers, but in light of the recent developments, I think they'd be nice. Maybe a nice floral arrangement (instead of red roses), and no "ILY" on the card -- just a more simple thought like "Thinking of Someone Very Special on your Special Day" or "Hope These Brighten Up Your Day! -- O"
Her favorite flowers are carnations, I always send those. I will add the card with no ILY, just happy anniversary. I will get the reservations, but not say anything to her until it is close and see where she is then. She has been talking about the kids' birthdays, my birthday, and her birthday. They are all in August. She hasn't said a word about our anniversary which is also in August. (Big month) So, I don't want to make a big deal about it, but as puppy said, after recent events I would like to acknowledge it.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
By the way, I posted earlier how I attributed my W's sudden interest in Retrouvaille after weeks of declaring M is over, and no interest in saving it to DBing, LRT, and to reciting the Rosary daily. If anyone is interested, here are some Rosary links: A printable PDF on how to pray the rosary: http://www.newadvent.org/images/rosary.pdf An electronic Rosary prayer aid to install on your PC: http://www.virtualrosary.org/ I believe very strongly in the power of prayer and the power of the Rosary specifically. For those similarly inclined, I hope you find these links helpful.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Is she warming up? W texted me to ask if I was going to the gym tonight.I said I was coming home after OT tonight and not going to the gym. We ended up talking for about 20 minutes. She was very friendly, even laughing about old shared jokes. I asked why she needed to know if I was coming home, if it had something to do with the boys. She said no, she just wanted to know. I am getting a different vibe from her now, and I want to make sure it isn't something that I WANT to see...
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
I am playing it cooler than ever. When she engages conversation, I truly listen and answer her. I haven't pushed or mentioned the R. I am taking it day by day. The only thing I did adjust was that I was going to go fishing Saturday night, but I stayed home with W because it sounded to me like she was hoping I would. Again, I might have seen something that wasn't there, but we had a nice evening anyway.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Oh, and I think I am just going to ask if she wants to do our tradition on our anniversary. Not yet, though, maybe a week from now.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
The only thing I did adjust was that I was going to go fishing Saturday night, but I stayed home with W because it sounded to me like she was hoping I would. Again, I might have seen something that wasn't there, but we had a nice evening anyway.
Well, that's kinda what I'm talking about. That's a nice gesture, but I wouldn't do too much of that, at least not yet. You need to make sure you are doing your GAL stuff, and not go all needy/grabby on her.
It was something that I felt I had to do. In addition, I didn't tell her I cancelled my plans for her, I made up the excuse that there was a storm forecast for the night, and we didn't want to risk getting stuck out in the lake during a thunderstorm. I don't plan on stopping GALing, I have come to like that anyway!
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Remember to be "cool & sexy" like before you were married!
About the flowers being sent to the office.......if things progress in the next three weeks, then I say to do what you've done in the past and not disappoint her. HOWEVER, flowers in the office usually draw a lot of attention, and if things are still strained in the MR, then I say don't send flowers b/c it is applying pressure. I know it makes no sense, but it is how WAW's feel.
Still have plenty of time to decide. Don't sweat it till you have to make that decision.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
