Hey man, I can relate to the scared and confused part - probably MANY here can. You're not alone on that.
Quote:
The kids are my weakness when dealing strongly with my W.
So, turn it into a strength. I am in the same boat as you. Had there been no kids, no way I would be doing what I am doing, I don't think. But, at the end of this, however it ends, I have to be able to look my kids in the eyes and tell them I did everything I could to save the family and M.
I think you are dead on about using this time to be the best H and father you can be. Don't let yourself try to mindread her - he!!, SHE probably does not understand herself right now - not a slam on her, just reality. On that note, my W admitted to me she did not understand all the reasons her feelings for me had changed. I was finally able to let go of this once I realized (and I think you too are) that her thoughts/reasons/feelings don't matter b/c I am makking changes for me. If she comes back (and I want her back), then that's just the icing on the cake. If not, I know there is someone else out there who I am meant to be with AND with whom I will be happier than I ever have been. It's a win-win (painful maybe, but still an improvement in the long run).
Work on detaching and the pain/confusion/fear will lessen. The fear will go away with detachment. Once you conquer the fear of being D'd, it holds no power over you - which means SHE holds no power over you.
