Still Wondering How To Handle Things!!

[kissak]

Thank you Mishka for your kind words....feel free though to say whatever it is you think I may need to here whether it be negative or not...sometimes I need to hear those things for it to hit me.

Sanderika, Im sorry that you have decided that you have had enough. I guess you really are going to have to start over on the detaching again, which is hard. Thats what Im trying to do now. I wish you luck and i will pop over to your thread.

I did tell my H last night that I was not taking our son to tkd anymore...or at least for a couple of months, then I would let him decide if he wanted to go back. I told my H that he could talk to son about it if he wanted to (he seemed to not believe me). He thinks its because of the OW there, but honestly she was just the icing on the cake for the decision, she just made it easier to do. I told him that I was sorry that he didnt agree with me, but thats what I was gonna do...he replyed that it was ok, that I didnt need to be sorry and that that was life, we werent always gonna agree on things. (wow)

I found out from my kids that on the way home from the beach with their dad on Saturday, the stopped for lunch with the woman and her son. Of course, they are not dating...not yet anyway. I just hate that he uses the kids to get to know these women...this is the fourth time he has done this with a woman...so Im about ready to ask him if it would be ok if I had lunch with the kids and A guy Im "just friends" with. Since he thinks its ok and all.

I think Im going to check into getting some therapy for myself. Im looking for someone that can help me through this...Im not doing to well on my own.

I think what gets me is the communication my H seems to want to keep with me.

Like today, he texts me all the time If he dont hear from me for an hour or so, he says stuff like "I guess your busy, or you must be busy"

If I dont answer those he texts more and says "I guess you must be really busy"

Its like he needs me talking to him...he needs to know Im still interested in him or somthing...

I had a guy tell me once the he wondered if my H talking to me so much was his way of saying he was sorry for things. That he wants to be my friend and thats the only way he knows how to be sorry.

Made some sense.

Im better today...I do find at times I am very anxious when I think of this New OW. She is a nice lady...I know that dont make it right, but it helps somewhat. But then again, Im nice too...she actually reminds me of me...funny thing is I think My H would have to go back into that "faking it" mode with her...she goes to church and seems like a goodie two shoes...just like my H accused me of being. I dont think he could be himself with her...just my take from knowing her and knowing him.

I think it is really going to help me not seeing him so much anymore...as it will stand now, I will only see him on Tuesdays when he picks up and drops off kids, and every other weekend when he does the same...actually will be weird to be home so much...I really didnt like being home alot in the beginning, but now I can handle it.

Thats ok..Im really doing great on my weightloss...I have gotten off the 25 pounds I had gained back over the past year, now i am going to go past that for about 25 more...thats my goal....when he sees me in a couple of weeks, he will be drooling!!!!! Trust me, I know him...he would never be able to keep his opinions to himself....But Im not doing it for him..Im doing it for me! Makes me feel good! and look good too!!!

I heard this New possible OW was at the beach too on Saturday and had a shirt on over her bathing suit! Ha! She seems insecure to me...just like I was at one time....Anyway, she doesnt have the greatest figure! Sorry...I shouldnt make fun of people....Ill behave now.

Will see how it goes this evening...since my H has no reason to go to tkd now, I wonder what he will be doing with all his free time. I even wonder if he will offer to get kids more since he wont be seeing them as much.

My son told me yesterday that my H was moving his stuff out of storage to put it in an old house that no one is living in that his dad owns...its not livable.....seems he cant even afford the storage costs anymore.

What is he gonna do? He is never going to get out of that camper...It will be years if he is going to do it on his own. Not my problem though to worry about. But I wonder if he will ever open his eyes to see the "big picture"...or will he do it once i have finally moved on with my life.

SOrry, but Im not going to wait forever....I have given him plenty of time and chances.