K4D Rising #3

[K4D]

Ouch. I think I need to *SMACK* myself after that one. That was apparently a big step back. That was probably me returning back to the old Kev which I really don't want to do. I should not have said anything. I think I was just tired of her always not putting any importance on the kids going to church. And in the process of making a point, I did become the hypocrite and not an example of someone that wants to do things how Jesus would. Jesus wouldn't have done that. That was something I should not have done.

I think frusturation has been getting to me some between yesterday and today.

I'm sure she saw the old Kev and it was just a reminder that she doesn't want to be with me. One little screw up can set things way back. Ugg. I should have kept that in check. I won't make that mistake again.

I really am trying to be better. I just had a setback last night AGAIN.

You really have to be darn near perfect for a very very long time to make even just a little bit of progress. Its a tough road. It doesn't help to do something stupid like that which could have been easily avoided. In all honesty, that was trying to be controlling of a situation wasn't it. I shouldn't have done that. I am still having to learn that road but at the same time not be a doormat. I'm still trying to find the middle ground there. Don't try and control anything, but don't get run over either.

Kevin