New Post for Wifey

[The Wifey]

Gardener, its funny that I see this after I had a rough weekend. Yes, I've been DB'ing for more than a year but I still have days that I get discouraged. The most important thing each day is to get up and be grateful for what you have.

This weekend, My H told me in absolute, certain, concrete, resolute and every type of "lute" that we are friends, only friends, have not even gotten friends right yet and that friendship is the base of every good relationship.

I spun for a while. Cried for a while. Then I went fishing for a while.

I'm back, I'm up, and stepping forward and relying on faith. It isn't easy, it isn't what I would like to have to do at this point in my life - but I am reset.

I turned my face toward the sun when I went fishing and felt the heat on my face. I lost count of the fish I caught after the 30th one. (No fish story!) I stepped away from my H and I landed on my feet. I will get up and do that every day.

My faith is in God and I am going to pay forward all of the kindness and help shown me since June 20th of last year.

H says we are friends. Well, we'll see. Maybe we are or maybe we aren't. Maybe we will be and maybe we won't. Right now I have to take care of me. If there will be any friendship it will be because he makes the effort.

Right now I am just tired. So tired of the roller coaster.

I don't know what the future holds, but God has given me the promise that he will restore my heart. I believe in Marriage being forever, but accept that I have nothing I can do right now but place my heart and our M in his capable hands.