Just updating, I had a really good weekend, and surprising with my H. So Friday night, I went out with my sisters, which was great b/c it showed H I have a life. He also went out with his friends and was callign me at 3:30am to see how I was doing. Good sign. Saturday I was home and H had to dropd his family off to a picnic, had to pass our house on the expressway to get there. So he called me from the park to see if I want some food and he brought a plate over for me. Stay the day with me until he had to go pick up his family. We had agreed to go out again later the Sat night, but I had to go visit my mother first. But naughty me, I kinda snubbed H b/c when I got to my mom, my sisters were going out and I really wanted to go with them so I canceled with H. He was mad as ever. I was so proud of myslef though... showed him I have a life. But I kept my cool with him b/c my H being as immature as he can be said fine I will find someone else to go out with and then he hanged up the phone. I started to get upset at first but can you believe it, I stayed so calm. I then text him that "if you go to the movie have a good time, If u don't then I would love to go tomorrow." then he said forget it he find someoen else to go with. And I said, "Ok but if u don't find someone else I really want to see it tomorrow ok." I was really proud of myself b/c these are the immature games that he plays and I was above it. In the past that would have made me so upset and worried but not anymore buster. Of course he didn't go anywhere, we hang out a bit after I finished with my sisters. Then on Sun, he did tons at the house (he's so handy I gotta say), and then we cooked dinner and went to the movie. I had a really great day and he did too. He even turned his phone off, which is of course sign that ow and him are still in contact but he had agreed that he knows he has to limit that for us to live together again. The thing is I want to take it slow yes, but I'm wondering if we're going too fast actually. Don't even know what is the "right" pace anyway. I should be honest with you guys, H has slept home several nights already, but he's still not home and I don't want to commit to that until I see certain other things in place. Should I just relax and go with the flow for now?
My other fear is that H yoyo's and I keep telling him that I'm afraid that this will only be temporary. He says that how he was before is not what he wants for his life and he didn't grow up that way (which is true, h has a great family), and that I should just watch his actions and see if he's changing back. I'm nervous and scared as hell of this man though. The other morning I woke up and I was starring at him while he was sleeping and I was asking inside are you going to hurt me again? Are you going to keep this up or are you just trying to get me back to where you want me to be? Although I did say to myself that I'm the one that will have to make sure that I'm not made a fool of... so I'm being very cautious emotionally.
Anyway, any advice is welcomed? I really want to do things right. And I def know I need boundaries in place. Shoudl I be demanding/holding out until those boundaries are in place or I was thinking we need to reconnect and establish somewhat a relationship again and then slowly address the issues, but before we live together. Thoughts?
