I appreciate the sentiments, rinse, I hear where you are coming from...
I just feel at this point it is his job to do damage control and if he will not then I will, but I am putting it on him first.
For some background since you are new to my situation, my husband and I have been spending ridiculous amounts of time together with the kids. He comes to my (formerly our) house probably four nights a week unless he is out of town for work. We have been eating meals together, going to the kids' practices together, we just went on vacation together! We go to the movies, sit together at church every week, etc etc
THIS is most likely what is confusing the kids. Heck, it confuses our pastor, my son's counselor, our families, and honestly, it confuses me. We spend more time together than a lot of 'intact/happy' families. Although you never know who else is keeping up appearances, do you?
See that is an example too of the impact. I am quite a bit jaded on some of these things now where I was the girl who bought the princess stories hook line and sinker as a child. That bothers me that I can see a couple now and wonder if anything lurks below the surface where before I only saw a sweet family.
So anyway in my case my kids are well aware we are still a family as we have never really broken that part of things off. So actually unfortunately for me, and I think for them, we need to do much less together as a family, at least for now. It muddles things for me and has them seeing connections that are no longer really there, at least from Dan's side.
Yes Mish it was a long night. I know that it could be viewed as enabling to pack the rest of his things up. But in reality, I am not helping him move into his new house. I am taking boxes of his/my things from college and old jobs, which were already boxed up together, and separating them out. I want his things in the storage unit so that he has no reason to come here to get them himself. Which he wouldn't anyway, a lot of it (college textbooks/awards, old work binders) has no tangible use at this point so there would be zero sense of urgency to come get them.
I just think it is important for me as I clarify my boundaries, to re-claim my home for me and the kids. If he is not interested in being here then his things do not need to fill up my basement and garage.
