i guess i should add that on her online posts, she says she is S and moving to D. she told me she put that so that people would contact her more if they thought she was "more available". I have my days where i know it is going to work out, and she just needs some time. but, it is on those days that i sometimes push too much. the issues at hand have been treatment of each other, and i have learned through my active participation in counselling and extra research, that my adhd played a role. we had a trial S about 6 years ago when she caught me with cigarettes in my car and I lied about it trying to avoid conflict. (ADHD problem). I have only ever lied about smoking and where the money comes from to purchase. not anything else. it happened one more time, and i told her i just had a mental break down, i did not lie to her about it, she took the kids to a friend's house over New year's and then came back. she said if it happens again, she will D me. But, I did it again (ADHD can't think down the road). I actually didn't do it for over three years. then i had the med change and lost alot of self-control, was aggressive, and the person was not me at all. when she found the cigarettes in my car, it was the proverbial straw. she said she wasn't happy and wanted an S, and both she and the pastor who was there that night reiterated that she is not asking for a D. I just gotta get me under control (have been) have patience (difficult) and give her space (even harder). I have chosen not to date now but i did go out with one person to dinner more so as i am lonely. i said me dating others is not sending her the right message. she says my words are empty b/c there are no actions behind them. turning that around. when i make progress (maybe self-perceived), i usually try to talk about the R. then i get gonged!!! the back story is just that. when the S happened in April, we had been married 12 years, 9 months and 23 days.
