Well, keep on doing what Sandi and PDT and SG suggest - I consider them the experts...
Things will take time. Take some time for yourself, too. Good job on the weekend. I think I would have made at least some primitive contact on my anniversary day as well, rather than letting it go unnoticed. At least you didn't call her 12 times or something - so good job on that.
Take care, things will get better. It's hard to see that right now, I know.
Mentally prepare for next week. Remember, don't do things that will appear unattractive to her. Advice to me was "treat her like you would a treat good friend at work" - that does seem to work ok for me.
Hang in there!
Me: 46 W: 46 M: 9.5 yrs D4, D9 D filed by her 11/3/08 Agrees to try rec at mediation 1/28/09 Says she still wants D in counseling 3/25/09 W and I back in DB counseling (!) 8/20/09 3rd Bomb 9/2/09