As far as how to approach the sex subject with your H, you said something that stood out to me as painting a picture of the emotional aspect you are dealing with. I would say that is what you need to add when telling him you will no longer have sex with him. Something like this. "as long as you are emotionally connected to OW and not to me and devoted to our M,sex will not occur."
Calling it an affair may not resonate with him because, frankly, most men do not see an EA as an affair because it is not physical. Unfortunately, men do not see R's the same way as women do.
Mishka- Thank you. You are 100% right and I love the way you put it. H does not think his EA is an affair and I knew it would be hard to get him to understand why I was stopping the sex. BUT..by saying he is emotionally connected to OW puts it in a whole different light. Even if he tries to deny it to me, H will know it's true, which is all that matters.
Look forward to seeing you on FB - I'm pretty easy to find.
Sandi- Thanks for checking in. I didn't go home yesterday, not up to it. I'll return today. H is at work til tomorrow so it gives me some time before I have to deal with him. I am very lucky to have an extremely understanding boss so work isn't a problem. I plan on returning tomorrow and hopefully be able to concentrate to get some stuff done.
One day at a time. My new motto (at least for now). Today I feel a bit stronger than yesterday. Every little bit of strength helps. I am trying to gear my mind to focus primarily on me and my S.
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
