So.......did you look at the list? Have you tried to follow it? If you are going by the DR book, you have to be following the list.
Just checking on ya.
Sandi
I cant find it.. I swear it was on here maybe im over looking it. I'm using the divorce remedy book only list i see there is the one i made... i guess it's time to reread
Im trying now to stop thinking "what does that mean?" but i have to say its hard when she does talk to me she really says lots and lots of little things to me that pop in my head later and its almost like a reflex. I think " what does that mean?" befor i can stop myself.
- see when we went to dinner the other night we both sat there for 3 hours as you can guess 3 hours of talking left tons of time for things to be said lots of things and we eneded up stopping because we ran out of time.
I do agree with her that we NEED to be friends first. I think once we can get to a point where we can be the type of friends that can hang out (she agreeded about that type of friends is what she wants too) then and only then we both can decide if we want more.
I guess I have another issue I would like to run past you guys since I got a call from her this morning, her window on the van wont go up now and she was asking me if there was anything she could do to get the window up since she is away from home on another one of her trips she cant park it inside.
I am a auto tech so anything that we needed fixed i always did (of course that always saved us in the finacial dept.) well when she first left i helped her out. do I still? I want this friend thing to work and i do help out my friends but, Im still afraid of her using me and her new group of friends are clueless. so I guess she would have to take it to a repair shop if i did not fix it.
I certainly wouldn't help her by enabling any bad behavior. If it's a business trip or something, then sure.
Puppy
she does alot of hey let's go here! seat of the pants type of trips. she acts like a 16 year old kid who has a credit card and no parents. sixflags, a road trip to niagara falls, mall of america and so on all sense she left. this stuff is the reason we had gotten into aguments since she left and also I pushed her away even more.. I guess I was trying to tell her she was messing up which we know i cant do. I have since stopped doing that. I can only sit back and watch who once was a person who thought that type of behavior was foolish.
I think that if she has money to waste on road trips, she has money to pay to get the window fixed. If it was winter, and it could be justified as a safety concern for the vehicle that your kids ride in it would be one thing, but I just dont think thats the case here.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
yeah, i was not too sure what to do if she ends up asking. but my thought was to say no, I just dont want to push her away was all.. some of my friends say its a conflict of interest to even work on her van. if something went wrong and our situation just would not be good.
BTW no she does not pay any bills well other than her rent and phone everything else is not paid and she never has money but has enough to go on trips MLC
Yeah I was in the same boat too, but our stance was pretty different, thus I no problems telling XW if I'm not good enough to be your husband, I'm certainly not good enough to be your personal mechanic.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Actually, it did not start fight, I remember the look on her face as XW just paused as she didn't see that coming. Guess she expected me to save the day for brownie points with her or something.
Part that cracks me up most, in my sitch, it was replace a fuel pump she ruined by never having enough gas in the tank despite my constant reminder it's not a fun job on the particular 'victim' car. So, according to her, she had it done and some other work to the tune of "$1,500" versus $250 max for me to do it, but yet, she drove the dang thing home with.......
No gas in the tank and blew the pump again. And now the car, our formerly much anticipated toy for the both of us, sits directly infront of her house, filthy and as of this morning with a windshield full of parking tickets to remind her of how things USED to get done at her beckon call.
EDIT-And much the same I was ASE certified tech. So another point of advice - gather up all you tools and put them in storage need be! I "lost" everyone of mine to the D and lost the ability to do side jobs for extra income.
Last edited by dday101798; 07/13/0907:14 PM.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Well, she didn't ask anything about the repair. there was no talk about us at all so I think it went well. she no longer comes into the house she says it's not hers and she feels uncomfortable here. she really has no idea what I have and she forgets about the big things I have so I dont think the tools are much of an issue right now. most are at work anyway. this morning she did send a text wishing me a good day at work so once i get the girls off to daycare I will send one back wishing her the same.
