It sounds like you guys are doing the right thing keeping the information to yourselves, for now anyway. I am glad you still have hope and faith, they do so much for us. Take care sis...
I've found there are no answers... to death, divorce, separation, love, marriage, children, family. Only the now. Worrying about the future takes energy away from the present.
Through this I've learned to speak up, say how I 'feel' rather than swallow emotions, turning myself into an emotional ulcer. With my father's death I found that being there in the mundane ways was worth more than its weight in gold. It's the day to day events that bring the most lasting joy in life.
It's neat seeing your interests and passions expand. And man oh man, I want to learn how to take vacations like you! Perhaps just planning a getaway would be the best.. get up and go with the kids for fun.
Trying to live by my signature below the post helps me immensely to move forward and flourish.. even though I still procrastinate like crazy with anything to do with ex. Guess I still have that passive/aggressive thing going without knowing it!
It's windy and sunny and hot and irritating weather. But I guess everything irritates me at the moment.
Forgiveness is never easy & mercy is never wasted. Neither is (true) love...-Niles Comer I added "true" to love. I hope it is true. I need some good-true love in my life. With no "ifs" and "buts" etc etc.
H overcame himself and hugged me when he arrived at my house on Sat noon. I guess because of my mail he didnt dare to come Friday. He hugged me and said something like "Dont worry, things will go better". I felt my eyes getting teary and I swear to God all I wanted what to just break down, right there, fall into pieces, let all this frustration and anger and guilt and worries and fear and disappointment and sadness just come out. But I couldnt. Because I had nobody strong enough to hold me. I am the strong one. And I hate that. K
K..I'm so sorry I missed your news, I'm thinking of you. We didnt tell my Nan when she was very poorly, she was scared too, I guess its for the best. I'm sorry you're family are having to go through this, sending you love.
As for H...I said the same to bf this weekend, it doesnt matter what the other person thinks, or what their reaction might be, just do what you feel in your heart and is best for you... so if you want to cry and break down and vent your frustration in front of him, then why not? Do it, no matter if he cant 'handle it', or help, it may just help you. "Better out than in" as we say in the UK!
Love and hugs to you, speak soon, Al xx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
It is not surprising at all that you are fed up and frustrated b/c you've been doing all of the "heavy lifting" to save your M while H hasn't "lifted" a finger toward it.
You need to allow yourself some time away from being the "strong one" and let it go for a bit or you may end up so embittered that H won't stand any level of a chance.
To that end, H is moving, but his agenda is different than yours. See, his first hurdle appears to be his job, then his role as a father and a husband are well down the list. It seems as if that is how he's programmed to think.
He's so locked up and focused on work that he can't even think about anything else until that situation is settled. The good news is he took your advice and took some days off of work (something that would have never been an option for him in the not to distant past). Even though he slept, he did choose to come and sleep w/you. As FG said, he has comfort w/you. I know you want him to leave, but in his way, he seems to be moving forward.
The timetable for H is much, much different. He has a fragile psyche and low self-esteem (IMHO) and he's fumbling around trying to find himself. To him, he does see things as getting better - maybe b/c his work stress is starting to crystalize, but who knows?
I know that isn't what you want from him, but remember, you are (and should be) filled w/frustration b/c you've been the worker.
Do what you can to pull back from at least the psychological aspect of repairing the M for a few days to allow yourself to rest, relax and try to let some of your disappointment abate.
It is easier said than done, I know, but this may help you to reduce your stress and tension.
I am getting away for 4 days with my best 2GFS that I've known since I was 16, and their kids, to relax on the beach of Paros. We used to go there and have some good vacation before the bomb.
I remembered once, during the vacation he had a fit and screamed at me "this is it, I am divorcing you!!!". He didnt damn it!!!
