It works, you want stuff that works, I'm giving you stuff that works, start using it and use it often and then tell me the response you get from her and don't stop doing it, you will see positive results, I wouldn't waste my time typing here if I didn't know that this worked.
I have done the same thing with my W that Rob describes and it does work.
That doesn't stop my W doing very deranged and sick things (see my thread) but she apologizes when I call her on her spoiled brat behaviour, which I always do.
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)