Latest update...so I take the kids to H's bball game for an hour. He always makes me feel uncomfortable there (like I am pursuing him)...and God knows what he has told his teammates about me while they are hanging out at their little beer pong parties...anyways, in my mind, I just want his kids to be able to support him...I'm torn on this one...
So the kids & I come home & eat the lovely rib dinner & birthday cake that I decided to make for MYSELF! LOL If I didn't have kids, not blowing out candles would NOT have bothered me, but I thought it would be fun...and I could really use that wish.
H calls when the game ends & he's packing up his stuff. Tells me the teams tied, etc, etc. then says - I think I'm going to grab a bite to eat on my way home. I say - Are you sure, I saved a plate of ribs for you? H - I was thinking I could take them to work for lunch tomorrow. Plus the whole team is going for a what-the-he!!-are-we-doing-playing-like-such-$hit-meeting. I think I said something like - oh, okay. Can't quite remember.
It's funny bc afterwards I thought - Happy Birthday to me! (sarcastically)...but I just thought that. And I hadn't been thinking that when we were on the phone. I am pretty sure when we were on the phone, I really didn't care. I was more happy that he called to let me know what his plans were. I know I'm totally overanalyzing this now, but hopefully my tone really was that of a simple oh, okay. Maybe it was better that way because it wasn't a conscious effort on my part to show that I wasn't going to make him feel guilty about wanting to do something on his own...maybe it was better that it was natural.
Just interesting to think about...
Me 36, Him 33 M 11yrs, T 15yrs S 8, D 7 ILYBINILWY - 1/09 H moves out 10/09 D to be final SOON I HOPE!
