K4D Rising #3

[K4D]

I know. It was a dumb question. I should have just left it alone. No I don't want her to refile at all.

FaithfulH, I am looking forward to hanging out again tomorrow as well. It should be fun.

I did enjoy my kids last night. I get them back this Sunday night. They came up with some meal ideas they want next week so that should be fun cooking them together. They don't really get that option at W's house. So its fun for them.

Kevin

[25yearsmlc]

k4d,

FaithfulH is a gift to you. And you must listen to him and if you disagree then tell him so he doesn't feel ignored. He's a Godsend and he's there in your life for a reason. You do repeat behaviors but then you make internal progress. I hope you can learn to stop your mouth or put a filter on it. It gets you into trouble time and again with the kids and your wife.

CG gave you some great advice on thought stopping too. Did you check that out? It'll help you STOP talking in a destructive way as well. THis isn't just about saving your M, now, it's about learning an important life skill.

(( j ))

[K4D]

I'm not ignoring him at all. He is a great imspiration. I just made a stupid decision. One of many.

Kevin

[CityGirl]

We have all told you multiple times how to avoid making and saying things that are stupid and destructive. When you feel the need to say something to your W regarding the R hold your tounge and wait 24-48 hours before you say anything. After that time passes and you still feel the need to say something to her post it here first. But you still do not do that. Why?

You say you dont think quickly on your feet and we have given you solutions on how combat that but you continue to do things your way.

Have you been practicing the emotional thought stopping techniques from the website(s) I posted? What methods are you using from all the suggested ones?

[K4D]

I will have to answer later. I am out dancing and having fun for a change.

Kevin

[ppenton]

Hey Kev,

How are the AA meetings going, when was the last one you attended?

Have you helped your children get counseling or help? Don't drop the ball on these as you have to keep going and helping yourself and your kids.

[K4D]

I think you all will be proud of me. I made my first real DBing response demanding respect today after W texted me and I did not become her doormat for a change.

Here is how the conversation went.

W: Is there a reason you took EVERY SINGLE tool? Because to my knowledge we didn't agree to that. I need tools. You need to give some back.
Kevin: I don't appreciate your tone. When you can speak to me in a civil tone, I will respond.
W: There's so much I don't appreciate about you. You're lucky this is all I say.

Break here, I did not respond.

Later...

W: You can't possibly be surprised that I am upset with you. You are still contacting me about your life. What time will you be home for me to bring the girls over?
Kevin: 6pm
W: I will have them there by 7. Please have the tools by the door.

And that was the end of the conversation. We had talked briefly this week and I said I would be taking dance lessons Friday night and that I was looking at a house I was thinking about buying. I thought she might want to know if I bought a house. Kind of affects things. I guess not though. I probably should not have mentioned that I was taking dance lessons. She didn't care even though she acted like that was cool.

Oh well, during the conversation today, I had a lady friend with me as we were out getting a smoothie and she majored in psychology and she was telling me how to respond to each text. She said I need to demand respect which is what all of you have said so she told me what to reply back with.

I think she done good. It will be interesting to see how things go tonite when W drops off the kids. I'm going to try and stay out of the way and just do my thing. I am boiling a whole chicken right now. I just finished grocery shopping.

All in all this weekend was very good. I started learning how to dance Friday night with a friend. Yesterday I met a friend and a group of people that get together and just chat every saturday afternoon. Last night I went to dinner and a movie with FaithfulH and had a great time with him. This morning I went to church and hung out with a friend for the afternoon.

Life is looking up. Its hard at times because I do still think about W and when and if things will ever change with her. But again, its not destroying me anymore. I am learning how to enjoy myself again. Its a different lifestyle than what it used to be. But thats ok. As long as I am working on me, I will be ok. I don't NEED W. But I sure do miss her and hope she comes back at some point with a change of heart. I continue to pray every day.

She may not look like a sweetie. But deep down inside, way way way deep down inside, really far deep deep down inside in a tiny little place in that heart, she is.

Kevin

[Tomato]

hi there comrade in the arms of Christ.

how is the Dallas sattelite arm of our "standers" contingent coming along?

hope you are well. And that this day to honor our sovereign Lord has been a great one for fellowship, devotion and the like.


Ted

[Tomato]

and tell Bob B that I think you and him should go to karaoke some night so you can be overcome with laughter LOL

the man rivals Luciano Pavarotti I think hahaha

[K4D]

Hi Tomato.

We will have to try that karaoke some night. That would probably be funny.

The standers isn't quite coming along yet. But I think once FaithfulH is here we can get more of a group going because there will at least be 2 of us and we can grow it from there.

The day is good. And yes, the Lord is with us. I will be doing some further reading tonite and praying as I try to do most nights.

How are things going with you? How was your weekend?

Kevin