I am never coming back !!!!!!!!

[25yearsmlc]

No worries! You don't sound pathetic.
As for him waiting for the kids to call him, maybe it's control BUT I think that's b/c he feels as if he is a victim. They OWE him a call. All he did was..."find happiness"....so why is that being held against him? yeah, in HIS WORLD...that's what he did. But he'll run into other people or situations very very similar to his/yours and when he sees OTHERS cheat, it'll seem wrong...and it will occur to him..."Gee, maybe someone could argue that I am that way??" and he'll know it's true, even if he has rationalized.

The "acting" I mean is that he is now revising the marital history as all WAS's do. As in, They were NEVER happy they were ALWAYS miserable, they were only ACTING happy and fulfilled...so that's why I nominate them for Oscars. It's BS. They were as happy as they seemed to be, and if by some miracle they weren't, that is on them. You can only go by what someone tells you and how they ACT so if it was all an act, he ought to be in show biz and it would still not be your fault. It would mean he was lying all those years and how does that make you the bad guy and not him? So lose the "loser" stuff and start talking nice to YOU...

And you will be happy again. As you are already discovering. Glad you are GAL. I know our first winter without H i rented a ski place and it was hard to find and we had to drive in a blizzard w/o h, (had s20 with me) and the girls. I was scared b/c the car got stuck in the snow at night and I had NOT found the rental property...but guess what? We got stuck, really stuck, and went up to the house to ask to use their phone since my cell didn't work in the mountains...the address of the house WAS the rental....go figure.

We had a great time and later, I took a trip to Italy with my 3 kids, for the 25th anniversary H was too busy to get a week off for. A wonderful expenditure and I don't mind still paying on it. Best money I ever spent. THIS YEAR..we ALL went to Europe as a family. H too. He wanted back in to the family and though there were some adjustments and he still has to find a control streak in him, big time, I do see effort.


Sometimes GAL does 3 things at once. It makes you happy, shows your kids a future without their dad around that does not suck, AND sometimes it wakes something up in the WAS...soo important for you and your kids to GAL...

Good luck, and don't wait for him to do or call or say anything to you that helps you or the sitch. IF he needs you, whatever that means, he WILL call. No need to ever tell him you are waiting for him or he can count on you. Why should he be able to count on you? He has a woman....let HER be there for him. If she's so great, he won't ever need to call you. If she isn't, that's just too damn bad. He can call you THEN, and It'll be up to you to decide if you want to take the call. Has he remarried her yet?

In any event, Just get the dang money he owes you and your children. As fast as possible. The "bad economy" will be his excuse soon, so before he gets to that, demonstrate by law, he is in arrears and that will help you b/c when he does get new work, if he has lost his job, a garnishment is nice. You get it without wondering if he'll "Give" it to you. It is NOT HIS TO GIVE, these are his kids and the law says he owes it to them...so let's face those facts.

Anyhow, glad to hear you are doing so well. Keep it up.
J-