Trying to stay strong

[hopeful_cb]

I didn’t do a v good job of gal this weekend. Will have to try harder this week.

I have been up and down the last few days. I keep thinking about the sitch and what to do next.

Venting…
I keep thinking should I tell H to come get his sh*t out of my house? Should I tell him to give me his key? Should I tell him if he is going to continue doing X then he needs to file? How long do I let this stand with no movement in any direction?

I have not heard from him in over a week since he cancelled out meeting and asked for a ‘raincheck.’ I don’t know if I should call him or keep up no contact until he initiates. It feels like a game of ‘tag’ and im tired of it.

I’m so fed up with the whole thing tonight. If this is his choice, he has made it and now its been months why does he not make any effort to move his things out, why does he not want to file for D, why, why why?

I know it’s a waste of time to look for answers, I don’t think I’ll get any.

I feel like I am ‘out of sight out of mind’ and that the status quo is way to easy for him(but then I don’t know how easy it is really).

I feel a bit better now for writing that all out.

I was talking to a friend tonight and she said to me it seems like you def need some closure or direction and it might not come from him so you might have to take the lead be in control and concentrate on what you want to do.

I know I need to concentrate on what I want to do, but where in that do I make what I want/need to do making him follow thru on his actions. or is that the completely wrong way to think about it? I dont want to force him into a divorce I dont want. But how do you handle a spouse that has no want to divorce but is separated?