X was required to complete the AC in the house as part of the divorce agreement. It was supposed to happen by 11/1/08. He just got it done yesterday, and I had to be out of the house (long story). It is the first time he has been in the house in more than a year.
He called to tell me that he was done, but not done (are we surprised?). He'll be back tomorrow, since he didn't have all of the materials he needed. But even then, it won't be complete. There are things of his parents' stored upstairs, and he doesn't want to move it out of the way to complete the job. His father certainly can't get up there to move the stuff.
Now, the convo had started off pretty well - respectful and business on both parts. When I asked him a little more about the work, and if he would be able to get here in the fall to finish it up, he simply said he feels his "obligation has certainly been met." So much for that - just another reminder of what he is and where his head is at. And I have been so careful to not ask him for ANY favors (I remember us walking through the house, me taking notes on how to take care of things, with him crying, saying it wasn't like he wouldn't ever be back to help - and I said then, what do you think divorce is?) I'll let him do what he is going to do on Monday, then have my contractor finish the job right. At least it won't cost as much as it could have (that is, if he did it right to begin with). I was riled, but not for too long - a vent to a friend got it out of my system. Anger still feels so much better than sadness, though! And I can let anger go much faster.
He took the flagpole that his parents hoped he would leave. I guess he doesn't care about their requests, either. It didn't bother me either way; just surprised (for a minute). He asked me about copies of the old photos, back when I used to have doubles made up. I just said that I haven't gone through them in years, myself (I was tempted to ask if his gf wanted to make a scrapbook for him - what the hell does he want pictures of something that was "so terrible" he decided to leave? I don't get it, but whatever...) I guess I'll get to that over the summer...although I'm also thinking of asking a high schooler to sort them for me - they need to be sorted, anyway.
I have my IC tomorrow (not the co-parenting therapist, but they are colleagues with clearance to talk freely about our family), so will bring up the end-of-session attack. I have to say, with every encounter, it is easier to shake things off without the previous clutching...the shedding gets easier, feels better. I wouldn't be surprised if I find both of them complete irrelevant in the very near future. What a difference....
Kids are home at 7:30 tonight. I think we'll go out for ice cream
