She does keep bringing up my past behavior, and she continues to say that I'm still that way! And I'm trying to use these opportunities where we do communicate to show her that I'm not that way anymore. I haven't argued/sparred with her about it at all. I haven't even responded to any of her accusations about me still being the way that I used to be...not one bit! I don't know if she's trying to be manipulative, or if she still has some big trust issues with me, or a combination of both, or whatever! I do know that my texts and E-mails (communication) with her have been much different than they have ever been with her...and maybe she notices that! Even if she says otherwise! And I'm sure the kids talk to her some also.
Time and your new, improved, aware, insightful, DBing self may whittle this away. Sounds like your changes are poking holes in her reasons for staying apart. That sure does make a woman mad - haha! I was there. The better Coach got with communication, empathy, listening and setting boundaries, the more mad I got. He was working on most of my reasons for being gone which begged the question - well, why are you still gone? So - I got mad. Until I could see increasingly the changes could be relied upon - trusted. Then I wasn't AS mad. Time and consistency on his part helped. Just a little fyi for ya.
Makes sense, and this goes along with a lot of what I've been told since I've been here. I'm doin' it, and plan to continue.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
