I don't even know anymore...

[forward]

I posted this in someone else's thread. I often note how the LBS is often the "parent" figure and the WAS is the naughty child, not wanting to catch it from us.

Stepping out of this role is not easy. I do think the best way around it is minimizing contact and saying as little as possible about their parenting.

But on to the triangle thing. The WAS has tension with us. OP relieves that tension. When we back off, there is nobody for them to blame their problems on any more.

Then slowly but surely, it changes. The triangle becomes one where WAS and OP have problems, and YOU become the way to relieve tension.

This is why any attempt to get them to break up will backfire.

And why, paradoxically, it is that the more you push them, the less likely you will be to see anything.

Kiki, I think you are doing the right things.

DB C told me firm but friendly. She also said "Firefly-like." Bright/gone.

In other words, when you DO see H, be nice. Don't let anger show. Just make a point of not seeing him much.