It's a Sunday, and the weekend days always seem very long. I have been trying to fill them with activities, but it feels like I am feeling a lot of burnout. I awoke at 7, but I "dozed in bed for another two hours. Then, I "dozed" again at 11. At noon, I finally snapped out of it and hit the gym.
I am still torn by this process of disengaging. As I mentioned in my previous posts, I am trying to figure out a way to inbteract in some manner with my wife. We have had only one or two short phone conversations in the last month and only one face to face about a month ago. I am doing a lot of work on myself, but it's very frustrating to have absolutely no sense of her situation.
I really miss spending time with my best friend. I know that I had a lot of shortcomings as a husband. It is so painful, after four months of this, not to be able to share some of the things that I have learned.
I really have a strong urge to call her just to say hello and ask how she is doing. I'll probably just get her answering machine because I think that she is screening her calls (I'm not absolutely sure). I guess that, if she is screening her calls, that's a very strong indication that she does not want to talk to me at all. I guess if I had any brains, I'd get the message.
This is so very hard because, four months ago, she said that she wanted to live alone. She said that tehre was no other man and that she did not feel like she could live with anyone else (see th earlier posts). At the time, she said that she still loved me, but that she could not live with me. When we were together, I thought that we really could talk to each other. Now, it's like she's just vanished into thin air.
I have this compelling urge to try and reach out and find out how she is doing. All of the reposnes that I have received, except one, tell me that I shouldn't do it.
M 57 W 52 Married 12, Together 14 No kids by this marriage 2nd marriage for both
