question. do i tell her somethings come up and tuesday and wednesday aren't lookng like it's gonna work out at all? i
Yes that is the way to do it. Then end the conversation quickly. (be polite, but make it short so that she is left with "wondering" in her mind and don't give her time for any other comments or questions)
It is important that you don't call and confirm and you don't call and cancel the date. Hopefully she calls you and then you tell her that you "forgot" and can't because you have already made other plans Tuesday and Wednesday. Then say "sorry we will have to do it another time. Hey, I was just leaving so I will have to let you go. Talk to you later."
THEN GET OFF THE PHONE AND HOLD THE LINE. Go back and read how many times I told Pearl H to "hold the line" It is a must.
That's it We will wait for her reaction and evaluate our game plan after you have passed this test. Don't think too far ahead. We need to evaluate her response. For all we know, she could be pounding on your door wanting answers. (that would be a GOOD thing)
IF she does ask you what you are doing or who you are going with before you cut her off...... the answer is "just a friend" NOT just some friends but "just a friend" or "just a friend from work"...... after you say that you go right into "I was just leaving and can't talk, we will talk later.. ta ta.. by... (say these things happily.As if you are HAPPY TO GET OFF THE PHONE. (do not be rude. be polite, be short but be sure of yourself.....
Remember.. You are NOT trying to make her jealous. Just follow the game plan. Go out and have fun.. Laugh. Joke. Be happy.
question. do i tell her somethings come up and tuesday and wednesday aren't lookng like it's gonna work out at all? i
Yes that is the way to do it. Then end the conversation quickly. (be polite, but make it short so that she is left with "wondering" in her mind and don't give her time for any other comments or questions)
It is important that you don't call and confirm and you don't call and cancel the date. Hopefully she calls you and then you tell her that you "forgot" and can't because you have already made other plans Tuesday and Wednesday. Then say "sorry we will have to do it another time. Hey, I was just leaving so I will have to let you go. Talk to you later."
THEN GET OFF THE PHONE AND HOLD THE LINE. Go back and read how many times I told Pearl H to "hold the line" It is a must.
That's it We will wait for her reaction and evaluate our game plan after you have passed this test. Don't think too far ahead. We need to evaluate her response. For all we know, she could be pounding on your door wanting answers. (that would be a GOOD thing)
IF she does ask you what you are doing or who you are going with before you cut her off...... the answer is "just a friend" NOT just some friends but "just a friend" or "just a friend from work"...... after you say that you go right into "I was just leaving and can't talk, we will talk later.. ta ta.. by... (say these things happily.As if you are HAPPY TO GET OFF THE PHONE. (do not be rude. be polite, be short but be sure of yourself.....
Remember.. You are NOT trying to make her jealous. Just follow the game plan. Go out and have fun.. Laugh. Joke. Be happy.
Am I wrong, this sounds like we're creating a jealousy plot line for her to worry about you? Just curious.
I'm not saying this is wrong, if it works to create a fear of loss and for her to question that what she is doing is harming her chances it may be what's required.
Am I wrong, this sounds like we're creating a jealousy plot line for her to worry about you? Just curious.
NO you are not wrong. I have found when giving advice to people that they go overboard and become OBVIOUS. The WS senses this and the effect is then ruined. He needs to just go out with a woman "friend", have a good time, make the plans as we suggested, give the answers as we scripted and not try to "make" her jealous. We don't know if she will be jealous or not. We do know that he nees to create mystery so that his BS has a chance to "wonder". It is the causing her to "wonder" that starts to turn things around. We don't even know if she will call him about Tuesday or Wednesday yet. We don't want HIM to be sitting around to give HER the chance to cancel and then put him in a tailspin. IF she doesn't call him, if won't matter because he already has plans....
IF she calls him after Tuesday or Wednesday and mentions that she is sorry or forgot, it gives him the opening to say.. "oh that's right, I forgot too. Well I couldnt have made it anyway, so no apology necessary. I forgot too."
He needs to stay on the offensive here. IF his new attitude makes her jealous, then it is a bonus. We will then find out a little more of her TRUE feelings for him. He may have a good time with his friend which could give him more confidence that he doesn't need or want to be with a woman who can't make up her mind. (which is a strong position for HIM to be in)
He isn't on a date. He is on a social interaction.
Am I wrong, this sounds like we're creating a jealousy plot line for her to worry about you? Just curious.
Oh she will be jealous but I'm not so sure it is a "love" type of jealousy or a "control" type. At any rate, my encouraging him to be out of the house was more for his sake and to give him a little more strength to his detaching. Every time he can make these decisions, he will get stronger. Eventually, he will have to deal with her b/c she will began to turn up the heat (extremely now). But I believe it is making a statement to her that he can leave his house after she made it so plain that she was coming over. She needs to be shown that he has the strength to turn her down!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
so W just txted asking "do you still want me to come up on tuesday?"
i replied, "i'm sorry i totally forgot. we will have to do it another day."
she texts back, "WOW kay. you've been ignoring me again. what's up with that?"
she then called while i was finishing reading her text. i answered, and she says, "how could you forget? we made plans?" i said i didn't remember them being finalized. a friend asked to do something with me tuesday.
she said," that really hurts. how could you forget about me?" i said "i'm sorry, but hey i was just leaving, we can talk later."
she said, "it doesn't matter, and i don't matter. bye" i said bye and then hung up on her.
grrrrrr. did this go right? it felt really weird!!!!!
UPDATE:
W just txted again saying,
I'm going to come get mina on Wednesday. i can't believe you Josh. You're right you have changed and you aren't treating me like a person. have fun.
i loved the last text she sent how now I'M NOT TREATING HER LIKE A PERSON. ummm, pretty sure she was the one took everything and left me here without even a tube of toothpasted in the middle of the night while i was at work....
oh, she's so not helping her cause right now.
PS.. MINA is the chihuahua she left here at the house
GOOD!
