How about GAL and being a man only a fool would leave? That'd be taking it in a whole new direction and a 180' and not pursuing while also not being a doormat?
You are giving her way way too much power and I don't think she wants it.
I'm going to post something a man wrote to a friend in your shoes. SHe wanted her WAS back and felt extra bad one day, due to something he did or didn't do...here's what a great guy named Was2Sad wrote to her:
Look at me and listen now. Do not use his name or his alias in the same sentence with the word happy. Not because you think he may or not be, but because the two are of no consequence to you.
Any time you spend wondering if he is having fun is time you should be spending thinking about the blessings you have. Time you could be using to make plans for enjoying your life with your kids. The fact that he will not be doing that has nothing to do with your priorities.
When you are thinking too much about him, stop and seek solitude. Concentrate and focus on you. Think what makes you special. Think what makes your kids wonderful. Put your goggles on and look in the mirror. I just threw that one in to see if you could with a straight face.
Really, we all have moments on the roller coaster we would just like to puke and get it all out. You know at the same time that this ride will not kill us, and when it is over we will wonder what all the fuss was about. Hard to see it that way right now. In time, it will come. Allow yourself to think of something else. Allow yourself to imagine the world is still round and the sun will come up tomorrow.
Imagine yourself very very happy. Don't focus on the details of how or when right now. Just see yourself being happy. What do you like to do by yourself when you are happy? What do you like to do with just the kids when you are happy? Why aren't you doing those things right now? What plans do you have for doing all that this week? These are the things you should fill your mind with. Anything else is meaningless in life. Anything else in life is a distraction, an illusion. Focus on the important stuff and smile.
Stuck, try this okay? GET SERIOUS ABOUT GAL and seeing its' value. Multi-dimensionally a good thing...or your name, "Stuck" will be a reality. You don't want this name or sitch forever do you? But only you can get yourself unstuck. When I see you post about taking it to the next level, I worry that you have missed out on what you tell others to do or think and you skip it yourself. You know that is not what you have to do. You have to GAL and focus on you. I mean it when I say she does not want all the power you are giving her b/c she isn't "in love" with you. that's why you need to stop the pursuit and become a man only a fool would leave. That means a bit of mystery and growth on your own so she can grasp that a woman would be lucky to have you as her mate. Believe it. IF you don't, then fake it 'til you make it. Gimmicky? Yes. Does it work? YES! So do what works and GAL and stop constantly staring at her. OMG...too much pressure. (BTW, if you had said "no" to her request, you'd have lost a big point. You were right to say "go ahead and have fun" unless it's something you would enjoy. My take on it is that is was about her and coworkers, correct? NO one else is bringing their spouse right? )
Back to YOU... Make sense? J-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
