Hey JR09, I'm so glad you've been having such a great time with your boys. Making those memories is so vital - and you must just feel like the four musketeers sometimes.
There's a big leap between your posts - and I think it's one of the reasons it's so important to try to do what you can to feel fulfilled on your own. What I mean is that, in just a few hours you seem to have gone from feeling some comfort in trying to convince your W that things are better - so feeling tired and worn out waiting for a response from her - and the one thing in common in both instances is that you gave her all the power - and you gave up a lot of your own control of your half of the situation.
It took me ages to get it that there was nothing, literally nothing, I could say, do or offer to convince my STBX that things could be better - or that I had changed - and I truly mean nothing - which does not mean that we stop making those changes and working toward that goal - it's just that we find this delicate balance between making all the changes, growing, improving ourselves - but do it with the knowledge, the firm belief, that we will be fine no matter what - whether with or without our spouse - and it's a terrifying notion to accept - in fact, it seems completely contradictory - but it plays itself out here again and again - that the men and women who focus on themselves in a healthy, not a selfish way, eventually come out of this whole - sometimes that means they're whole and piecing together with their partners, sometimes it means they're whole and on their own - but that wholeness is essential. My T once said to me, how can two people love one another in a healthy way if either partner feels incomplete? (this was in a conversation about that line "you complete me" - which I think harms love ever time anyone watches that movie and thinks that line captures a truth about how love ought to be received or offered.
That said...no one knows your situation better than you - and if it felt like the right time to say what you said, maybe it was...
Do checkout divorceasfriends dot com - lots of good articles there about fighting for one's marriage while healing oneself...
