Its my first day off in 8 days.....I am so happy!!!! I did run around in the morning to run a zillion errands...but, then had a chance to take a nap this afternoon which was so awesome! Its amazing to feel this productive and its humbling cuz.....damn, I am exhausted!!!!!!!! even after the day off!
Other than that, H did call today, but I only spoke with him for 10 min or so...and then said hope he had a nice day and hung up. I just didn't feel like having him ruin my day! I also decided that I will not be moving again (at least for another 4 years). I had initially thought that if my H decideds he wants me back that I would find a way to transfer........well, NO!
If he wants me back bad enough, he can move here - for me, for a change. I will not sabotage my career any more or choose anyone else (including H) over myself. Its important to fight for myself and for my own self sufficiency cuz at the end of the day, let's face it, I am the only one I can depend on...
If I lose H, oh well. Its so not in my control and I just am too tired to really deal with H anymore. I can only just wait and see what he does. In the meantime I think I need to just keep the focus on my career and do the best I can at work.
I am excited to be getting my first paycheck this coming friday. Boy I need to get paid! Its been almost 4 years since I got my own paycheck, so I am super excited! Never again, will I have to rely on my H or anyone else for my own personal support. Its sad that I am 35 and finally done with school and working, but on the other hand, thank god I am there now, at least.
I had planned to get married and have kids and just raise them and care for my husband and home.....Now, it just seems like some weird sci fi film that I must have been conjuring up in my head!!! Reality of making my own paycheck and supporting myself feels so much better!
I have some reading to do tomorrow. I spent some time cooking today...which was nice. I turned down a dinner invite (its the first one I have turned down in a month or so), I was just so tired and just wanted to do nothing. It has been a good day!
And I agree, here's to another day of PMA! I am just hoping to keep it up this week!
