Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[BigJohn]

I have to comment on the "looks". When I had my EA, the OM was not ugly, but he wasn't that physically attractive, either. It really wasn't his looks that I was drawn to at all......it was how he responded to me and how he made me feel.

Agreed. How the OM makes her "feel" is at the core of her attraction to him.

That is what I don't understand about your W in why she would submit to some jerk treating her like OM does.

From what I know of him, he is narcissistic extrovert who envisions himself as a "big shot". He is 40 years old, never married, has had only two long term relationships, 2 and 4 years respectively. He just ended the 4 year relationship before contacting my W. That relationship ended with him assaulting his girlfriend and breaking her arm. (My W knows about this assault and believes OM's story that he just pushed her, she fell down and broke her arm.) He has worked in the same lumber yard for 20 years. He has no real assets to speak of- he is a renter. He is apparently not a religious man and does not go to church. He maintains pages on Facebook and MySpace among other social networking sites. He corresponds with many single -and apparently married women (aside from my W)- on these sites. Don't know much about his married lady friends but the single ones have pretty slutty profiles that promote "attitude" and selfishness. He has a lot of friends and an active bachelor's life full of fun but no other accomplishments to speak of. He is apparently a bully with a short fuse.

I'm handsome and a successful professional respected in my field. I am an Eagle Scout. I am a hard worker who has provided well for my family with a nice home. I am dedicated to my family, their well being has always come first for me. Like most married salaried professionals, I don't find myself with a lot (or enough) of free time to spend with my family, friends and still get things done. Like many other working professionals, I've found myself in a rut where I haven't spent enough time "smelling the roses". I certainly don't have the enormous amount of free time OM does for fun nor do I spend much time if any on Facebook, MySpace, etc. I am a Christian and attend church every week. I'm confident, but not an extrovert/"life of the party" type. I've got a long fuse, not a bully- in fact just the opposite- but am very capable of taking care of myself.

I don't know why my W puts up with anything from this scum, or why she is so obsessed with him. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact he is the exact opposite of me.

If OM wants her bad enough, then HE will send her the money to go to him. If she has any brains at all, she will "know" that and expect OM to come across for her. If he doesn't, then (hoping her self-respect kicks in) she'll begin to open her eyes to what sort of person he really is.

OM hasn't risked ANYTHING nor has he invested anything but free time exchanging grins/giggles via texting/cell phone calls and email for this "R" with my W. My W on the other hand currently seems more than willing to sacrifice her life along with the lives of our family along with everything we have worked hard for the last 18 years in order to further pursue a R with OM.

Just want her to hurry up and have that regester in her mind!

No kidding, it's like waiting for paint to dry.