Finally trying to move on without H

[beepee]

yes Gardener, the occasional wave of grief..its toxic!!

anywho, i went out with my best friend to a cafe and had a great chat and LAUGHED SO HARD for the first time since he left. then we went to see a movie and laughed more than i thought i was able to. it was great to hang out with her and have fun chatting and laughing like we used to. known her since i was 5 and im very lucky to have a friend like her. shes always there for me and im so grateful that shes around.

its weird actually..we got into a huge fight right after my birthday in december and hadnt spoken for a long time..then she emails me for the first time in ages ONE DAY BEFORE MY H WALKED OUT ON ME. i felt like that was a sign..like someone, something, knew i was going to be in this sitch and there she was and out relationship was patched and we're back to being friends. i dont know what i wouldve done if she werent around when the H left. im so grateful.

anyway, i kept busy today. SOLD MY COUCH!!! AND MY LAMP!!! then i worked on ebay stuff and just got back from the movies. now need to compile a bunch of stuff for the flea market tomorrow but its going to be raining... im a bit worried about that.. we'll see what happens..

still really proud of myself for not emailing the H.
BUT i did something i shouldnt have and i checked his facebook (which he took me off of so all i could see is his picture) and he changed his profile pic to elmo. we both had a thing for elmo he said if he had the talking elmo to wake up to, he would be a happy man (the one that says, elmo loves you, mmhmm kiss kiss! muah!) i know i shouldnt be wondering this but i wonder if he put it up cause he knows i check it something.. but of course not, he probably put it up cause it makes him happy..or hes got another girl and that share a love for elmo. ARGH STOP B, STOP! i shouldnt be thinking about this. who knows what he is thinking, but its so hard not think the worst. but whatever. ill just take it as, he likes elmo, therefore elmo is his profile pic.. i miss going to the stores with him and pressing every single elmo toy at once. we used to have such a blast doing that. i miss it so much..