desperate...

[bluerain]

Ive lived here most of my life, in a few places around the state, my H is in the Coast Guard, so we moved around within Ak a fair bit. People think that we all work in the oil industry here too. I wish I did! The money is incredible.

Good job validating her! That, Im guessing, is a pretty big change for you. I dont know why she would want to talk to you on the phone, maybe to speak to you because she just wanted to, or maybe to just confirm things about your D, who knows, but speculating about it really wont help you.

Now that you have told her that you have changed, and have all of these new understandings, drop it. Let your actions show her that you have changed, and now she knows that you want the whole thing dropped, quit telling her. She knows that you still love her, want your M etc. You telling her again wont help you.

Also, its really important, in case you do have to fight the R- order, to document how shes been breaking it. Seriously, Im not trying to pit you against her, but you do need to be realistic and assume that shes probably going to move forward with what shes started, protect yourself.