Im trying to have a good weekend even though H is being an idiot right now. I want to just tell him that I am through with his stupid wishy washy BS. I dont have time for this and I deserve more. What a loser.

I think that I have wanted this so badly, for so long that I dont really know how to completely not want it anymore. But I do know that I dont want to let him keep messing with my head. I have spent a year being unappreciated and unloved.

Just a month ago he said he wants to come back and now hes not even speaking to me? We didnt have a fight, nothing happened that I know of. This is bulls**t and Im through. Im too good to just be tossed away, picked back up and tossed away again at his whims. Screw him. I just hope that someday, someone does this to him.

I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...