I feel like I am operating in a vacuum

[antlers]

Antlers, Guccci, & Gardener:
Thanks for the feedback.

I guess I'm looking for the magic bullet answer, and, of course, there is none. I know this intellectually, but, emotionally, it's hard to accept.

Like Gardener said, the common theme in your posts is to "back off." I guess that I equate "back off" with "back out," and I find it difficult to disengage from twelve years of commitment.

Here's my question to any and all of you- All of you are espousing the approach that is advocated in Divorce Busting and Divorce Remedy of "disengaging." If you have taken that approach, what results, changes and/or improvements have you seen in your own relationships or are all of you still in the early stages where no big changes have occurred yet in your partner?

The results, changes and/or improvements I've seen have been in ME! Giving your wife the time and space that she has asked for is actually a very loving thing to do. It's selfish to keep smothering her when she has asked for time and space away from you. I started to focus on me, and the things that I did have control over...like my thoughts, feelings, and actions. And over time, and with hard work, I have become a better man, a better father, and a better partner. Will I get another chance with her...I don't know! She and I will both be better off if I get another chance with her now, and if I don't...then I will still be much better than I was because of the changes that I have made. These things take a lot more time than we want them to, and some take a lot longer than others do...depending on the people involved and the particular situation. My wife moved out on February 22nd of this year. She's working through the TONS of emotions that she has to deal with, and I'm working at what I've told you. It sucks for sure, but it's all I can do under the circumstances. You are being given good advice here, and it's backed up by Michelle herself.