In your posts, I see where you have been confused about being S and living under the same roof. To be honest, I did not have any idea how many couples did that until I came to this board. I thought if a couple considered themselves "separated" they lived in different houses! There are so many folks who simply cannot afford to pay for two individual places. That was the very reason I did not move away from my H, was b/c I could not support myself and I knew he would not enable me living out of our home. I have even read where couples consider themselves S and sleeping in the same bed! No wonder the LBS is confused!!

I thought your W said that the two of you would be considered S as a H & W, b/c she was staying for the sake of the kids. In her mind, she wanted to have a civilized friendship b/c of the kids. Living under the same roof while S is very, very difficult. Why wouldn't it be?

You, on the other hand, seem to forget that she considered it a S. You would not get the idea of having sex out of your mind. Now, I could really get up on my high horse about this subject, but I doubt it would do any good. There are "some" women out there whose sex hormones seem to be on the same cycle as a man's and they need that sexual "release" and will have the sex act simple b/c of that reason......and no love or emotions along those lines seem to be included. I would think "that" would cause massive confusion!

I doubt your W want any sexual contact with you. "Most" women's sexual desire is intertwined with her emotions and if the emotional R with her H is not good.....then that will effect her sexuaL desire for him.

Most females learn early in their M how fragile their H's egos are.....especially about sex. Therefore, she gives all these stupid excuses for not having physical affection......or sex. Physical affection for a man will lead to desire for sex. She knows that. Thus, the silly excuses like Deep's W gave him. The fact was that Deep's W did not want him touching her. But, she knew if she said, "I don't want you touching me b/c I am not at that place yet".......he would be very offended. (And all the men shouted "amen".) In a man's opinion, he has every right to be offended if his W tells him something that 'brutal'. Women learn this the hard way, so they start making up silly excuses for not wanting him to touch her. Fact is.....men don't want to hear the brutal truth b/c they react to it by becoming what I refer to as "sexually sulled". I hate it and every W out there knows exactly what I am talking about. His ego cannot deal with the fact his W does not want him to touch her. So, he sulls up. With most W's, it isn't so much a little affection as she knows he will want more, so she discourages it from the onset.

"Most" women do not require the sexual release that men do. I keep saying "most" b/c there are many who do. I think it depends on the sex drive of the individual, and maybe it is my old fashion teachings, but what you see in the movies about women jumping on men......well, that is not the way they are in MR in the real world......IMHO. If it were, we would not see so many D out there.

Women's POV on sex and men's POV on sex has always and will always be different. Their needs are different, their thought process is different. The male and female are different and in more ways than just their sex homormones!

See, it just amazed me that you still looked for your W (who told you that she was S from you) to show up at the bedroom door wanting sex. Then when having company and she did stay in the bed with you.......and continued to stay.....that really blew your mind. You thought it HAD TO BE FOR SEXUAL REASONS! No, that is how "men" think. I can't read her mind, and for all I know.....maybe it was......but I kind of doubt it. You see, men can't seem to think without the "other end" interferring with their thought process. So, yeah, it causes them a lot of confusion.

I know from experience how the lack of the right hormones affect a woman. It is horrible. I don't have time to go into all of that now. I also know how a female's thought process can change her mood and her body's response. Too much for this post today!

Anyway, maybe some other time I can talk more about that.

Later,
Sandi

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!