In all honesty, I'm sitting here making these posts because I am rationalizing and I desperately want someone to say, "It's okay to interact with her a little bit. It's okay to call." I feel like an alcoholic in denial who looks at the glass and says, "But it's only wine!" Do I need to maintain more discipline and avoid making even a phone call? It might not even matter. For the past few weeks, I think she has been screening her calls with her answering machine (probably to avoid talking to me). Somebody, throw me a bone...
It's not OK to interact with her right now, so don't initiate any communication with her right now. I know it's hard, and feels counter-intuitive, but this is something you need to do. It's not OK to call right now, so don't do it. If she communicates with you, then keep it short and simple. Be nice. Don't beg, plead, cry, or do any of that other stuff that you are naturally inclined to do under these circumstances...it will only push her further away. You have to focus on you right now, as hard as it is...YOU HAVE TO FOCUS ON YOU RIGHT NOW! You have no control over her thoughts, feelings, or actions...so don't bother trying. You do have complete control over your own thoughts, feelings, and actions though...so exercise that control that you do have. Keep coming to this board for support, and to vent.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
