I just (earlier this evening) ran across evidence of what looks like another EA (PA?) between Mrs. Thinker and OM2 (a new one...)
She's hiding things again, and texting a lot and I found a series of text messages between her and OM with a lot of innuendo, including one where she says to him "Don't worry, I'm deleting all of the messages" (Oops, I guess she forgot to delete that one... )
If so, this would explain the sudden change in her attitude toward Retro, her sudden inability to sleep while in the same bed with me, and other recent strange behaviors.
I am hoping that I am wrong, and this is a misunderstanding on my part, but I'm not going to count on it. Time to verify (quietly).
Right now I am not even all that emotional - just thinking to my self "Man, if this is the case, I am so DONE, FINISHED, OVER THIS"
If this is truly who she is, then I really am not interested in being married to her any more.
No changes or actions right now. I do hope I am wrong, but there was no mistaking it - there is a huge number of new texts between her and a man that I don't know.
[censored]!!!
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
Sorry to hear that, T. That is the problem in a nutshell, there are an infinite number of potential partners out there. If she wants one, it doesn't take long to find one. Has she always been so self-centered?
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
You and I need to go out and do some hill repeats and get that bad stuff out. (Too bad we're so far away.)
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Sorry to hear that, T. That is the problem in a nutshell, there are an infinite number of potential partners out there. If she wants one, it doesn't take long to find one. Has she always been so self-centered?
I have spent quite a bit of time pondering that recently.
I am not sure about self-centered, but...
She does not want to take responsibility for herself, her happiness, or her actions.
She wants other people to make her happy.
She wants to do what she wants to do, and she does not want to face the consequences.
If she does something that ends in a mess, she expects wants someone else to clean it up / bail her out.
Given now, I am focused on her negative aspects, and I am definitely in a glass house throwing stones, but...
I am now clearly seeing the number of times she did something on a whim (get over her head financially, etc), and then had someone else (her father, me) bail her out.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
What if you took the opposite tack? Ok, you don't want to go to Retrouvaille, you have a new boyfriend, have a nice life!
Sara, I think that is exactly where I am going, although I think I will keep the new boyfriend out of it for now. If it ends now, I want to stay clean and clear of the mud of snooping.
but...
"OK, you don't want to go to Retrouvaille, then let's go talk to a mediator..."
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
Thinker ~ OUCH! What is she thinking???? Ok - nevermind going there.
BUT ~~~ I agree with Sara about "Don't want to go to Retro? Have a new boyfriend? Good bye." And I do NOT think you should leave the boyfriend stuff OUT. Verify it and show your teeth. This is boundary time for Mrs. Thinker. Somehow she thinks she can get away with this - this isn't her first rodeo - and you must show her once and for all that Thinker is not going to stay married to someone who treats him and his family this way. She's going to have to straighten up and fly right, or go. Like a Big Girl.
If you ask me, you have enough in your phone records and that text to bring it to the table. I mean....is THAT acceptable????? I wouldn't have it, but that's me. Puppy will be here in about 8 seconds to figure that one out for you.
Bottom line ~~~ show your teeth this time and make her face up to the mess she is making.
Grrrrr. Cheers ~~~
PS - Coach sitting here next to me adds: You've just been hit by another roadside bomb. Be careful of things that trigger YOUR emotional outbursts. You were raw before and just beginning to heal a bit ~ this rips the scab off and you might be surprised by how short your wick is at this time. Be careful.
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
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