Trying to cope with H, IA/EA (was Newbie-1st post)

[Faith2010]

Maybe I started to detach today. When I was standing in my garage getting ready to leave I was terrified. Literally terrified. All I thought is "This is it. If I do this, it changes everything." I was leaving purely for my sanity and emotional wellbeing. I knew it would hurt him. I also knew I needed to take care of me. My heart was telling me not to get in the car, not to turn the key and not to drive away. My head told me I had to. As crazy as it sounds, it was one of the hardest things I've had to do. I drove not even a half of block and had to stop the car because I was hysterical. I so bad wanted to go back and be with him. What little he gives to me, I wanted to be there for it. But I knew. I knew leaving was the right thing to do.