Don't look at it as if you screwed up. Look at it as if you were "testing her"! Maybe she feels like you were teasing her, when in all reality, she meant to be the one to be doing the teasing! I just loved it when you stopped what she was doing. If you hadn't.....she had probably planned to stop just before the sex.....to string you along. Yes, that is exactly what she's doing. She's NOT testing the waters in the sense the book talks about. She isn't any more settled today that she was when this all started. You don't want to lose the ground you've gained. The fact that you were not so "easy" this time will only resolve her attempts to keep trying.

So, you were tempted.....you didn't give in! Even Christ was "tempted". It is how you deal with the temptation that counts.....and I think you did great. Look, you already have your toughest male critics' approval.....(not to mention mine wink ) So, that should make you feel good about how you dealt with the situation.

It will get worse. She is going to pull out all the stops. When you don't give in to her teasing & intiating sex, then expect her to use her tears one time--and fit of anger another, just to see if you'll cave in to her that way. She has a whole list of tricks up her sleeve that she will resort to using......so be prepared and be strong! If you hold her off this time, you can make it. But as the guys here have said, it would be best for you to be gone on the nights she wanted to stay with you, to show her you aren't waiting and that you don't "need" her. However, still expect her to show up "unannounced" late some lonely evening.

Of course you know that the dog is her "ticket" to use to come over to see...(another trick). You may have to make some decision about the pet--if she's going to do that (and she will as long as she can).

Keep up the good job!

Sandi

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!